I found my old Journals.

I found my writings from when i was 13-15 years old. I am going to start posting the content on this site for many reasons.
a.) Humor

b.) education (a view of the mind on drugs, a view of the teenage angst in full force anger towards parents, money, religion

- This is all very personal stuff, but i'll take it on good faith that everyone reading this knows enough about me for it to not really matter.

*take it all with a grain of salt. I'm going to put it up exactly how it was written, not changing grammatical errors, punctuation or anything about it.

and so it begins:

(one notebook page..eventually I will scan them too so you can see the illustrations i drew that go with them)

"If you can't believe the fact that we evolved, if you believe we have a creator, a "god" then who made him. If you want to pray, pray the sun rises every day."

"the sun controls us, without the sun plants die, no food, no oxygen, until nothing."

"Animals-destroy=create"

"Deja Vu Theory"
"Life can only circle for so long, until theres nowhere to go. We will never stop killing, hating and raping. You cannot escape from the U.S.A., religion and the ignorant "perfection." How far will you let it go, how many times will you pass the same before your realize you've already seen it. After drugs sex and life, what is left. In a world where there's always a war, it will always be the same. Earth = home, the only home till death. We are alive now to watch it end."

"evolution is only 1/2 of a circle"

"dont be afraid of death, we wouldn't be here without death"

"Earth is our ball, we need it to live. Were trapped and suffacting, with nowhere else to go. Yet you waste time doing nothing"

It is unfortunate how easily manipulated some people are. It is important to find out who your true friends are, who the good people are and surround yourself with them. Everything and everyone else can be another notch in the gear, a piece of dust that gets crushed in the process or they all can simply fuck off. I am thankful for those who support me, for those who love me and for those who truly care about me. Not the people that pretend to do all those things.

You came into my thoughts for a moment, just to see if it were possible. Unfortunately even bad gas is capable of making an entrance only to pass and be forgotten.

Rough Around the Edges

I miss my friends, but i got a model..for living and it involves a bottle and Ritalin. And happiness is just a parachute away hopefully i'll survive another day when I'm falling..in love.

PromoWhoreInstitution.

Every awake from the chaos of the storm, only to realize that you've lost your clothes and everyone can see right through you?
When musics lost all heart it sounds like rocks hitting the pavement.

the otherside

There is an Energetic, Motivated and Passionate side of me and than there is the otherside. I am completely manic depressive and so extreme desperately gripping for a center. All it would take to level me out is exercise or medication. I watch as a I build things achieve accomplishments and than destructively create a path of ruins. 'If it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be.' Than what is the point of trying.

Bopper Nation is up and Running

Traffic

Traffics fading and there is no one to blame but execution.
Life is not all peaches and cream but there is a constant flow
that moment that is disturbed, the moment time stops
That moment it ends the obvious.

Memory is slowly erasing. Beginning to write down more notes,
but even those are easily lost and discarded.
One day I will have to remind myself to wake up, and I'll forget.

There is this constant stream of conscious thoughts that erupt like orgasms from a pig.
I have to take a second and ask myself, 'are the highs worth the lows.'
Can I give it up?
Will I be less interesting?
Weighing out the pros and cons, I need to make a list of all the wrongs.
Is it time to turn to a god?
To accept some sort of religion?
Only when we are in pain, only when we are in vain, only when we are caged.
Like prison inmates, begging for forgiveness promising to be better people,
only to end up back inside again.

I have accepted that I am a criminal, but to which degree.
The NAVY did not accept me, the marines/army probably would.
If I stop using my brain, it will become primal.

Ice Tea and Lemonade, Strawberry Shortcake Serenade,
A pint of Blood for a pint of ice cream.

Do I leave?

Quick cut scenes and twists are the only excitement left. right.

There is an entry to the gate, cell exposure is eminent
toxins are found everywhere as our subconscious is subdued

There is something magnificent in the way the hammer retracts off the object it strikes
Colours echo our individual feeling, but have very little to do with our hearing
I don't mind that we are trapped in a bubble, I spend most time locked in a room

Each pause is another second for my heart to digest the flow of blood
I continue down the path and notice that there really isn't much respect for love
sure we all abuse the word and if it were wood the world would be covered in splinters
but unconditionally what ties us to a person where we see only their diamonds

I find some serial killers fascinating because like religious fanatics they are so set on their code of ethics and morals that conflict with our own.
And to the man and woman who prostitute themselves literally may they be honored for their honesty.

Hello All

sorry i been neglecting on the poetry and giving in to pop culture.
But i can assure you I'm working on a mix to be posed here

I miss leather, music and accelerated speed
The emptiness of only the road and me
Other passengers like ghosts and echos as I fly
going wherever I wanted, when I wanted, freedom to ride.

Up to 18 carrying myself by foot
A couple tests and I'm pontiac aloof
a couple pills and beers and state st. 2006,
still drove her with a winking eye, an easy fix

At 21 legally allowed to drink,
2009 and my Mercedes slipped into the garbage disposal like soap into the sink.

Bopper Nation Support Unit

Winner of this gets a free mp3 from a list of these Electro choices, click here for details

Click Here

Dexter Season 4 trailer Actual season starts sep 27th
Plus comic-con interviews:

Deb reveals that her character knows dexter has a dark side but chooses to ignore it

Rita acknowledges that the wives of serial killers never really know that their husbands are involved and that even when the evidence is there they will still fight it and deny it cuz when in love you choose to see only the good

John Lithgow from 3rd rock from the sun is the new serial killer in the season :-)

Where is my Mind

I truthfully am Happy and there are a couple people who'd love to crash the cloud I am on and that is fine.

back to the poetry

ahha Alright enough with the fucking preaching, back to the poetry.

I'll write something when I'm feeling inspired. haha..right now I'm working on a mix I'm doing over at my friend chad's over some hookah.

another flashback:

I know a girl that wants to be the colour orange
but don’t know why shes in a rush to be alone
and im never going to see the light in her eyes
If she doesn’t get out of the dark

I know a girl that wants to be the colour orange
without rhythm it's a colour that stands alone

On self destruction

Self Destructive sean came out for a bit, but is now replaced with productive/motivated sean.
I know depressing right? I am quitting alcohol at age 21...for reals. Kinda Sucks butt.
But i got Nicotine (not cigs...hookah) and I got Caffeine (ice tea/lemonade combo).
I got my Electro Music...which gives me a natural high..lectro track marks.
And I got Mixing/Writing. Starting a T-shirt company. Trying to get a job.
Court Dates. Tons of fines to pay. But I have to say "I'm doing alright, I'm doing Ok, Just as long as i survive to see another day."
Most important thing to mention. I am doing the things that make me happy. I am no longer lying to myself about who my friends are, No longer lying to myself about love, no longer lying to myself about my problems either.
Taking responsibility its a mouthful. Back to mixing.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou
thank you crimson angel for the quote aka the hottest 35 year old i know.

Vitalic "Birds"

333

333 is the code for my disaster cycle:

Ventura Incident 2003, Crashed Pontiac Firebird 2006, Crashed Mercedes 2009

-=Hiccups included in between=-

A funny email

Recently I was contacted by my own private email by a Don Mac Phee


show details 3:43 AM (6 hours ago)
If you're the author of keepthesunshining, I would like to correspond with you privately.

I assure you that ANY information exchanged would be kept in the strictest of confidences.

If you are not interested, please reply and let me know. I'll understand.

-Don

this is the website he is referring to..if you go there you'll immediately realize one of my many pseudo names (inside the sun) has no connection with this website WHATSOEVER...except maybe the blog on michael jackson I found that interesting everything else including the title was a foreign language

http://keepthesunshining.blogspot.com/

Video of the Year

Hopefully I don't become a zombie.

Lethal

Be true to Thy self

I think I'm going to submit myself to AA. Which means I have to give up beautiful wine.
I still call dibs on Pharmaceuticals, Caffeine and Nicotine. Apparently they don't count.
I am slowly erasing my memory.

My closest friends are controversial in nature.

.05

The worse curse mankind could have bestowed on a human being is good looks, at least one such as myself. 21 Years old and still sucking at my mothers teet. Every 3 years I tend to have some kind of ridiculous fuck up that tarnishes my life for a year and I recover, fix things up and become a somewhat better person only to rinse and repeat. Kidney Failure, Crashing firebird/under influence of Cocaine charge and most recently totalling my Mercedes 300e and receiving a DUI even though I only blew a .05 oh and a Hit and run because my stupid ass called the cops and tryed to report my car as stolen...a block away from the incident..wearing the same clothes etc. At least the cop who took me in was cute.
I come from beautiful santa barbara where I am under the impression that things should be handed to me where as everyone else understands that we should have to work for things in our life. I've had 3-4 jobs. Years of school and I've probably worked a total of 24 hours in my life. I am Lazy messy and selfish.
There is a lack of joy in my life because I'm smart enough to know all of this and it helps me to look down on myself. I enjoy getting a rise out of people, that accounts for some of my humor. I play with music and I write. I am the kind of person you can be friends with....from a distance.

This is what is called a trend.
I've totaled a 1984 Pontiac Firebird
and a 1989 Mercedes Benz.
Thank god I can't afford a beamer.

the arts are dangerous
So is driving under the influence.
I blew a .05 though.

This is the Future.
:-)

Either the past is catching up, or never left.

Gelle

I am swiping my memory clear and thus far it has worked.
Despite waking up in a foreign bed with a text message to my mom "gelle"
with no previous text from here, followed by a dubious "?"
I have found everything else to a be foreign.
This is DR. Robinson paging Helbert Forts,
Patient S13t19m88 is suffering from a acute memory loss

Gelle

I woke in my sister's bed which is aross the hall from my own. Don't worry she lives miles away in Vegas with her father. Anyways I had a few texts, random ones...but one caught my fancy..my own mom had tested me ? and when went to see what i sent her i had wrote Gelle... Wtf is GELLE

My stomach is upset with me. I don't know what to tell it.
btw citizen cope is coming to LA soon..i know this is straying away from Electro news.But its important

I just want to write and Make Music. It only pays the Bills for a small percentage but it covers the financial weight of my soul and Happiness.

I am no longer my Mom's Favorite.

I'm a tomato in a basket of Apples and I'm finally feeling squished.

My life has been a series of awkward pauses, with minor glimpses of hope followed by lasting shades of darkness. Each day I grow closer and closer to accepting that maybe I'm just an old Joe and anyone who has ever talked me up as some unique character has only been building up an ego with no merit. I'm not going to win the lottery, I'm not going to write some Novel that will shake humanity by it's root forever changing the way we look at the world. Like so many people I will simply die one day and although those who I have come into contact with may remember me and carry my name for a bit longer..in the end they will die too and suddenly my name will turn into sean who?

Archaic Moods

Engage. Everlasting, Ecstatic, Energy.
Natures. Naughty, Naked, nails.
Develop. Dirty, diverse, drives.

Forensic foreplay.
Unique. ultimately underrated, underage unit.
Collapsed cable catacombs.
K.

blooming boredom by bridging bolting bruising bodies.

Welcome to Wednesday

Unfortunately there isn't anything much of value to write today.

Recommendations:

Go see the movie Moon.

Eat Vietnamese food At Saigon order #21.

Check this right the fuck off my list of things to do today

Apparently Sarah Palin has done something worthy of Merit for this country, inspiring a Porno with Lisa Ann..Go Hustler! This is the only reason this person should be a celebrity in my opinion and the only attention she should be getting, on the shelf with Paris Hilton and any other person who became famous through sex.

Cray

Happiness is a tree that sprouts beautiful leaves, flowers delightful fruit and provides comfortable shade.

The Day I stopped Lying

In a tapestry painting, flourishing on the floor.
A rhythmic tapping, kept the metronome knock at the door.
A life of happiness for real honesty,
after living a lie together she called life.
And a real smile of ecstasy,
without a drug, blindfold or lie.

Hormonal tentacles, strangling the poor.
The only victim is the people who we let abuse us,
since we train people how we want to be treated.
Thankfully those people don't exist anymore.

And they'll sing a song of romance,
How they won the heart and felt loved.
If just for a moment, to feel something is to feel our own vibrations
If just for a moment, to heal someone's aching is to doctor our own pain.
than the selfless victim who lead himself on,
smiles at the new shadow and her figure,
more suitable and full, less stickily and eager.
more independently and secure, less fever.

And all while I count, on the one hand I have left.
For of all my fingers, 10 of them I've slept.
I now move on to toes,
Thankfully it is I taking each step.

Chapter 1

Twittakasha

H foe quote

"I'm a real live human being [x], sometimes i want sweet, sometimes i want sour, sometimes I don't know what i want. My shit stinks, I'm going to die someday."- Hallam Foe.

This is life fortunately.

On the nights that I lay, with my heart aching in my throat
I scrape against the walls, bump into strangers, just to feel less alone.
When I'm awake i enjoy the solitude, but my dreams vibrate differently
and I keep chasing the sunny days with a shady coma.
But it never rains, nothing to clean the slate
so it all stays, like a pig finding a way to organize it's filth.

Each day the same the numbers, same colours and different strangers
A couple of them even appear to be friendly.
I'd organize my associates like plastic army men scattered around the room.
A couple of my favorite ones, played with the most and left somewhere visible when i grow older.
The unfortunate ones locked away or tossed in the trash with paper, old food and receipts.
This is life fortunatel, a series of awkward pauses and violent but happy memories.

We can't help ourselves, we all wanna be Prince.

I have electric track marks running up and down my arms. I am completely hooked and I fear for my humanity. The Machine is winning..UC-33e t-minus days and counting before it is in my possession and I am mixing that sound of 'man's sex with machine.'-Disco times call for Disco measures...I am obsessed, but isn't that part of Life: chasing the dream?

Inventing the wheel was a matter of proper rotation
Taking a chance requires motivation.
Life is endless without a destination.

Wow. I was reading my cellphone Blog and i realized how fucking unlegit normal phones are at posting messages through texts. it sent the fucking message in 6 parts and not all the parts went in order....Anyways.

Phase one of Inspiration:
Electro Junkism with only brother and friend-

0 What to be gained from this, simply stated I am alone and distant.

Phase two:
re-in-act-Mint of friendship in the choir of Blitzen-

0 hopefully something less aching on the heart.

Anyways let me repost this distorted cellphone blog entry in better format Here:

Last night was the first night i was reminded of how alone i really am, how all of my friends and family have become distant associates. We are friends and family only when we are around one another.
-on a side note: I also realized how hard it is to find Electro Junkies: a lot of people hit the scene for the drugs and for the sex. Can you believe originally it was about niether..it's about the music. Why is that such a distant plateau like my friends and family? I blame MTV. They have really shown people how to get completely outside of music and unfortunately that is the real reality TV show.
Planet Earth: Drama, Sex, Drugs-Glamour with a distant rhyming tune-Music.

Without a Title (If thats possible), But not empty of Introduction

Busy Weekend Ahead: DJ Klever @Avalon on Friday and Blizten Trapper in SB Saturday.
Let me chant a poem as a sort of 'good luck' charm for SAFE adventures.

Inside the envelope written in fresh lime juice, 'lead reasonably or follow wisely.'
Moronic laughter echos the porch as the letter appears blank
Words of wisdom usually come in blind packages.

I ran into old associates today holding a box of "it's toasted," red.
Painted sloppily are memories of ghosts and burned bridges
the only people who stuck around are those who won't let go
and a few fortunate ones that I cannot forget.

In this year alone I've watched a friend lose someone dear,
I've lost a family member and a celebrity.
Yet, loss is of nothing new to me.
In fact death is reasonable, justified and makes more sense.
Bridges aren't burned with death, it only lingers if the individual chooses to hold onto it.
In fact, Death is amazingly independent.
As someone who frowns upon Dependence,
How Can I not embrace Death?

I've lost my format of poetry. I need inspiration, it will come tomorrow and the day to follow.
~Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Flashback July is Over Blvd.

Time for the future. Time to move on. It's not that there are not things to reminisce and there certainly are not things to regret, it is just simply this, Today is a new day. How I was, the things/people I have met and done make up who i am..But today I am simply Sean Thomas Mullen. A collection of memories may help one to piece together their own version of the puzzle, but that is strictly an opinion. If you are looking for facts, good luck. Only a few things in life are factual, waking up each day may be factual but it is not inevitable sometimes we die in our sleep. I have not found any stability or permanence...simply just found experience. Live life in the way that feels right. mumble mumble.

july

For myself, the rain is as intoxicating and transforming as the moon is to a Lycanthrope. When one is composed of both man and beast, he or she finds himself constantly under restraint in order to adapt to the normalities of reality.

Anything that has ever been under restraint has more appreciation for freedom and understands its costs. Which is why I share a love hate relationships with the rain. I fear when it will end because I will have to go back to my reserved state, but I hope it never ends because the wolf is out to play.

When one is composed of two souls, during partial absences of the other, there is a fear of losing a part of myself forever. On top of that, there exists constant battles and conflicts within the two. Since both sides are extreme and have contradicting morals and values there is a fear within me that one will rule forever.

Eventually I am overcome with relief when I realize that although there are two parts to myself, both of them are me and I can never lose myself.

I don't know how much more flash back i can take in all honesty...i'm getting over swamped with bad writings.

Important, Natlaw the Order of Day and Night

The Order of Day and Night

“Most people come and go it’s a natural part of life that I have come to accept. However, I’m still getting used to those who have left me physically but remain forever a part of me.” This thought came to me one night while I was sitting in motionless chair. Out of all the chairs to sit on in the house, or ones to be bought out of the store, I chose this one. An old black wooden chair. Why not one of those nice computer chairs, with the cushions, and the maneuverability. I mean who doesn’t love going up and down, spinning around and having the ability to roll across the floor! I continued to write my mind was trailing off on a random thought again. I decided to focus on the road and avoid an unwanted collision.
“During the day we play together and dance with the natives in their fashion. We forget who it is we are and get caught up in the universal thoughts of attraction. Thankfully our nature is merely nocturnal and during the day we are only sleeping which releases a majority of the burden for our actions. It is at night that we redeem ourselves by awakening. Awakening to the real world, bringing us off of the dreamer’s clouds. When the world is quiet and we are left with our thoughts and ourselves.”
I had reached that state again where my mind was blank and I was left trying to soak up the sun of the words that beat down in rays that could warm, tan and most definitely burn. *Alarm Blaring. I groan and get out of bed and stumble half way across the room. Having an alarm right near you is convenient, but too convenient for a mind that outsmarts the body and figures out ways to master the process of turning it off without even being in an “awaken” state. I look at the pile of clothes on the ground, my dresser is broken so I rarely bother putting the clothes in. The other options of buying a new dresser or fixing this one don’t even cross my mind. No, that would be too easy. I grab a pair of boxers and head down the hall to the bathroom. Inside I apply toothpaste to my brush, as I turn on the water. I am still half-asleep as I make my way into the shower and get my body under the hot water. Once I am awake, my mind is again at lightning speed.
Into the busy trussels of the day, I began my chameleon-like approach to the overwhelming thoughts that come into my mind and I start “adapting.” Already before I even can park my car I am sure a thousand and one unknown judgments, some out of sheer boredom have already labeled me by my car and the way that I drive. As I park my car and begin walking through the parking lot, my mind is slowly adapting to the “normal” behavior of the day. “What do I look like, is my fly undone, oh my god look at that girls butt, oh shit I hope this guy doesn’t think I was giving him a mean look, what are people thinking about me?” The traffic is insane, and no longer does the people who are unfortunate and fighting for their survival even occur to me. My thoughts are based on how well I do on a test, how well I look, whether or not the clothes I am wearing match or look good on me. My epidemics include being late, missing a question or two on a test, someone disagreeing with me, not being able to have that m3, m5 and other nice cars I see parked next to me. These are horrible things, but under the heat of the sun, the influence from the part of the world I live in, these thoughts are very real.

Ok. I'm in a good Mood I'll drop some bombs.

What do you have to offer the world.
Besides another body with a mouth to feed.
A couple million resources you'll need.
a portion of our oxygen to breathe.
who knows how much energy you'll bleed.

alright I'm bringing out the big guns...here is some past writings...i mean WRITINGS as in...fucking long ass essays:

Please keep in mind, spelling, grammar, fucking everything about this is choppy. The content is interesting if you can make it through. GOOD luck. ha ha
Introduction

Not many could have predicted that a species would take their rightful place in front of the line and on the top of the pyramid. Sure there were many novels written and sci-fi action thrillers produced based on the idea of another notch in the food chain. But most of them lacked depth and a realistic understanding of how Mother Nature works. I’m sure the idea of an alien species coming to this planet and taking over sounds quite natural to the human ego, but isn’t it more logical that if another species could in fact travel from planet to planet they would look for one that hasn’t already been damaged.

However, keeping the ego in mind and manifesting the idea, that the machines we created replaced us wasn’t too far from the truth. Yet, we forgot the simple fact that living organisms cannot arise from nonliving material. In other words, a robot could only be programmed and didn’t have a mind or a soul, only a hard drive, which functioned much, like the brain. Except it lacked individualism, creativity, and many other things that put man on top of the other animals.

Chapter 1

It was Ivan Wright who kept in mind the idea that the human body functions much like the machines and vehicles that we created. He also was quite aware, being in a wheel chair, that age, nature, weather and our own actions wore and tore on our soft skin and breakable bones. The machines we created on the other hand could be bullet proof, excel in speeds faster than any animal, on land, water, and even in the air. And when they wore down, we could upgrade them, fix them and expand their life. With this in mind, it wasn’t hard for Ivan to find solutions. His own limitations of movement, being crippled and in a wheel chair gave him great motivation. The state of the world entering into the year 2000 was already facing population issues along with incurable diseases that emerged left and right making it easy for him to find support and funding. As for morality, it wasn’t an issue because his work was “TOP SECRET,” and when it appeared on the scene of the public it was already too late to be stopped.

Project Speaking Lilies slipped right under the radar of the public’s vision and appeared behind each individual opening their throats wide and forcing it’s agenda down. Naturally a majority of the public ate it up and by the time they felt its toxins in their stomach it was too late to regurgitate. Ivan Wright, the once crippled man, not only had the power to stand, walk and run but he could fly. He was a very clever man and made sure to have many others undergo the procedure along with him before it became public.
“Imagine a world, that no longer has the issues of overpopulation, imagine a world without old age. The darkness of yesterday left a crippled man sitting or laying awaiting his death. Today, We have given that man more than any man has ever had before. All of you today are witnessing evolution as it unfolds. Man is no longer the dominant species on the planet, we are.”

Something about the speech triggered a lot of uncontrollable emotions that could only result in disaster. It is said that we all resist change, but I don’t think there has ever been more of a resistance than the one that has emerged from this day forward. All people of different beliefs, societies, and ethics began joining together to fight. However, like the struggling Indians fighting to keep their land, slowly man was pushed aside and into “reservations.” Only a few risked their lives fighting for what they believed in and they were forced to live like shadows. This new dominant species was growing; every person who could afford the operation was welcomed. The separation of social classes was never so far apart as it was now. The rich as always were able to keep up with technology’s advancements, as for the poor they remained human or their new vessel was equivalent to an old beat up rusted down ford trying to race against an Aston martin.










Chapter 3

A lot of people emerged trying to gain credit for their wonderful predictions of “robots taking over.” However, they failed to realize this new species was not a robot. No, they were more human than anything was. However, not all got down on their news in the light of this new species.

A man by the alias of Wolf ran a nuclear energy gang, a technique mastered by a man named Pheter, who realized that anything with the potential of mass destruction must have key components to creation. Now Wolf’s project wasn’t the most popular and lacked funding. Although, he wasn’t able to manifest a new species with his inventions, he did find a way to counter Wright’s new species. It wasn’t until recently that he found himself teaming up with a shaman by the alias of Bear. Bear didn’t believe in machinery at all. He was more concerned about the soul and he had a tribe of warriors who followed his every movement.

Respect

I just wanna give a shout out to Gotta Dance Dirty, they hooked me up fat with two tickets to see DJ Klever, Paul Ahi, Nate Day and Nacho Lovers @Avalon this friday 7.10.09. I recommend this site to all electro addicts, get your fix. free downloads and weekly ticket give aways. Once again click here: Gotta Dance Dirty.

Fish on land

Today I spoil you with two flashbacks.

A human being is an animal and just like any other animal that we have raised and domesticated, if it is taught to be dependent, the chances of its survival in the wild are practically nonexistent.

The risk factor of raising and domesticating a human however, is greater than that of raising any other animal. Why? For a multitude of reasons, one of them is the fact that this animal holds the key to the survival or destruction of its own species as well as every other living thing on the planet.

When we study the anatomy of the human animal, we find two opposable thumbs. These allow it to grasp and hold tools. Located in the northern hemisphere of the human is a large mammalian brain that allows this creature to use these tools, as well as create new ones or new ways of using the tools. Located below this creature’s head is the larynx or voice box. This object allows communication with others.

The combination of all three of such things is a great contribution to the survival and destruction of every living thing on the planet.

I know the man; he came to me in four seasons and in the winter he became so cold, that he had to hang himself to dry.

When we don't speak the same language it’s because my vocabulary consists of hieroglyphics.
And that’s not even considering the physics. Let us continue past the bullshit involved in transmission signals, which are constantly interrupted by poor satellite configurations as well as dysfunctional uncontrollable weather. Despite the conspiracy theories it’s all very weary, and almost unnoticeable.
But that’s just a nice way of saying that ‘it’s all bullshit.’

My Cosis

As one can see from the title, this is 'Flash back' July. No it is not an LSD flashback, but it is a posting of old works I have dug up from an external hard drive and maybe LSD was involved in them...just kidding. Enjoy:

Its hard to be myself
In a world that puts me on the shelf
In oxygenated bubbles
That French kiss and cuddle
And twist my words.
Expectation

Its hard to say what I want to say
In a world that sees in only gray
And molds my sentences to their perspective
Which is filtered by a materialistic objective
And you wonder, why I feel so, rejected
Miscommunication

And I leave my sentences in empty dances
Composed of fragments stances
In order to make it easier
To the fill gaps you’ve already filled
Assumption.

Miss. Communication
Assisted in Umption
Along with my Ex. Pectaion

News and philosophy

News *from a reliable source:
The word "bed" looks like a bed and the word "shark" looks like a shark.

The franchise of artistry:
It is true that many people 'appreciate' the works of artists but just as society has advanced to the point where we no longer go out and gather/hunt for our food; people have lost understanding and appreciation in good art and hard work. However, the only thing that matters is love for ones work..the rest of the stuff is merely a price tag.

I finally took off the 21+ bracelet from EDC. I guess I have finally accepted that it is over. I really just want to go back to that day and then find some way to make it to Saturdays event as well. I miss my electro, I am going Cold Turkey and i had a light shower of rain today at RED's downtown in Santa Babara..a DJ was spinning thank god. FELIX september is too far away. I need to get a job so i can get my HARD summer tickets ASAP. Alright I'm going back to ableton...I don't have anything quote worthy/poetic to say. I am just thinking in the form of writing and you are reading this because what else is there to do... 2:40am, i have another hour 20 minutes or so to get to bed..lately 4am has been my bedtime...cracking open my energy drinking, warping my mp3's and getting ready to make a MIX.

FLASH BACK 4th of July SPECIAL

Lacrimosa

I just want to listen to music through the headphones of the globe, I'll mix their screams with the cries of laughter. I'll cross over from obese greed and drown it in tragedy. I'll take one shot to a building and ignore the millions of bombs we drop to compensate for our more expensive lives. I'll bask in the glory of being able to eat the African families weight, malnourished an all. I'll parade around in clothes I don't need, expelling exhaust. "everything i could say would feed into insignificance"

The thoughts of an Echo

Currently my mind is dried out. I had a classic 'fuck-all' day. However, my friend from Israel is in town and this is always something to celebrate. Absinthe and Forth of July down at the Pier under the mighty arms of Santa Barbara's beach/fire works. I wish I had some poetry to write but my mind is dried out. Currently seeking work, living in the land of Disco Broke. Public enemies came out...the new ice age is out in 3D this weekend. I rid myself of my Iphone and its costly bill. Maybe a good amount of things did happen today. "Disco times call for Disco measures," my ableton keeps crashing on my mac, someone smack this bitch up.

More footage from EDC

Love to Felix Elvi$$$$$





This is Michael Jackson

Disco times Call for Disco Measures

Uploading my first mix that I actually am proud of. So I used Ableton, and Raptor helped me find a loop for the intro and some cool effects to play with. And non of the songs are original...It's still worth listening..especially if you like American Psycho :-). "eyesball floating wet green grass"...oh yeah, "the geeks were right." I will say no more you will Listen here.

AFflicted Wolf-4merican P5ych0t1c (click on link, free download).

I expect of all people to sue me, Christian Bale. Hey if we have to meet through court buddy, I'll shake your head..I don't have money for you to get anyways..anything you'd take from me is governmentally funded and than your just stealing from the taxpayers.

The Most dangerous Weapon known to Man is knowledge of this, "People will Believe anything."

On homosexuality in Gene Simmons Minor, Harmony Lambert

The Gay Community needs Straight Spokesmen on their side. Let me be a part of this:

This is where the OLD school and the NEW school clash

(on the subject of Gene simmons being quoted as saying "American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert “ruined” any shot he has at a career in mainstream music after publicly confirming his rumored homosexuality" (click here for article)..

Gene-e-boy you grew up in different times..the mainstream entertainment used to be homophobic..and than after realizing a lot of artists, starts, etc..is produced, made, bought, owned and sold by homosexuals...well...Different times man, different times

Disco Times Call for Disco Measures©: I'm pursuing art at all cost. 'Man the Torpedo's.' No reason to spend my life avoiding the things I love only to have them bite me in the ass when I'm 40.

Zombies scare me, aka the Zed Word.

It's unfortunate that some people are appreciated more once they leave, but I finally know that Michael has found his peace. The peace he deserved.
It's unfortunate that an artist's work is taken for granted and only an artist understands how hard it is to be an artist.
"Misunderstood" only Lil Wayne has to tattoo that on his face as a reminder, aren't we all, wasn't Michael the most misunderstood person of them all.
We lost a King on June 25th, "a smooth criminal and an angel in the same day."

When the creativity well is buzzing, run with it.

Chase the infinite wisdom of a wise crash, Driving fast is recommended.
Pull the plugs and harness the body to escape inertia's fate.
Flying through the glass is just another way to escape.
I think the driver has finally taken the bait.

Disco Times Call for Disco Measures

Disco Times Call for Disco Measures©copywritten by sean thomas mullen.
Rules from Da Bop Gun:

a. Preparation: Wear under armor and spandex under your gear when going out for a long night of bopping.

b.VIP/backstage is crucial, straight rough-necking it once getting a spot right in front is too much work. No doubt the headliners are worth it, but one should have the option to pay for a break, plus VIP usually comes with open bar...drinks are uber expensive.

c. After a long night of bopping, a cold beer and shower is necessary.

My thoughts on EDC

The Best Way i can Describe EDC is this:
Imagine opening up a time warp to your childhood Disneyland and in the hustle of traveling through that time warp many things were lost, such as parental units and Disneyland itself got a tyedye wash. A wash of Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton's A Nightmare Before Christmas and Hunter S. Thompson's 3rd Reich all rolled into one mechanical orgy.

Sprayed with music that can only be described as Man's Sex with Machine, artists such as Foamo, Shinichi Osawa, Fake Blood and Boys Noize enslaved by the masses to preform for the first time in an environment where even the normal concert going freaks appear normal. Much Mind Demension and War and above all else, BONKERS. Michael Jacksons spirit resonates through the minds and music and may he rest in peace.

Now during this time warp Carnival rides, expensive food/drinks and attractions are all still in tact. Some crazy custodian got it in his mind that he clean the place with Europe and Vegas' Spawn of fire swallowing and juggling psychos, midgets in MiB suits conducting giant ogres, Gold Robots and painted belly dancers. Tranny n Granny clowns with umbrellas, daises and goggles mocking and humping the desperate fans.

The music in itself outside of these confines would be the attraction and with all of these distractions going on along with it, one can't help but wonder who is responsible. "If this is Hell," I said. Than I and all my other companions inside of this time warp are already well prepared.

Disco Times Call for Disco Measures:

EDC tomorrow, Friday 6-26-09:
You will find me at the NEON GARDEN around 5pm-2am/Closing, This is my lineup (pictures will be up after event):
6.15-7: Foamo
7-7.55: 12th Planet
7.55-8.50: Nick Catchdubs
8.50-9.20: Computer Club
9.20-10.15 Fake Blood
10.15-11.10 Shinichi Osawa
11.20-12.20 Shiny Toy Guns
12.30-2.am BOYS NOIZE

On the Death of MJ

Forget all the bullshit in the media for one day and just remember how talented this man was. I mean music literally buzzed in his ear and resonated throughout his body and he was kind enough to share it with all of us. The man had moves, talent. We lost "an angel and a smooth criminal" in one day.
R.i.P Mj
Lastly,
FUCK YOU PEREZ HILTON: (click on name to see shame)
"This may sound weird but it comes from an honest place. I thank God that Britney is still with us!!! It was very scary with her for a while".14 minutes ago from web- Perez Hilton (Twitter)

I almost felt sorry for you pathetic video about will.i.am, but than I remembered why your sad face looked familiar, 'Nightmare before Christmas'.

THIS JUST IN

I was curious to find out what google phrases are popular for this site attracting new visitors. Turns out the most popular phrase is: "Changophilia" aka girls morphing during sexual intercourse. Glad to know that's the strongest way of me attracting new visitors. Further research revealed that when one Googles Changophilia, only 3 other websites come up, and I'm the 3rd listed out of 4. Right on, Keep it Strong, This website recognizes loyality and I owe a big thanks to Changophilia. Loud thoughts, Insomnia and Changophilia (click).

Tender meat is found around the ribs, a protective casing around ones heart. The art of destruction for recreation is known as 'Solve Et Coagula,' the art of self-destruction for creation is called art.

Are we touching each day out of sheer curiosity, like a teenage boy discovering his genitalia or are we approaching it with a will to move forward. We surround ourselves with the things we love, but for those who change their love on a daily basis, like chameleons trying to find the right shade of colour, they would find themselves better suited in the fashion world. Each day I notice the ups and downs of life, the things that provoke, arouse and simply bore me.

Sommar Vacation

Frankly, I was unaware that people would be loyal. Knowing this, maybe I would be more proper in posting blogs: Taking my time before posting things on this page. Had I known this, maybe I would have each post grammatically reviewed by professionals or even amateurs. However, I am still completely unaware and yet the ticker continually informs me that I am having unique viewers each day.
-=In fact June 12th was the most recent date where there was only 1 unique visitor...which i believe it is safe to assume that was me.
So pat yourselves on the back for making this possible, and I will reward you all with some poetry.

Electric Daisy Carnival

These ARE the Dj's I want to See, and the stages that they will be @; If you're going to EDC, LA on Friday than Look for me here.
Pictures will be up:

NeonGarden:
*Boys Noize
Shiny Toy Guns
Fake Blood
Foamo
Shinichi Osawa
computer club

Kinetic Field:
Thievery Corporation
Paul Oakenfold

Maybes:

Basspod:
Dieselboy
The Upbeats
Evol Intent
Ewun

Thoughts from my cell phone

The fluorescent sand is the only thing we feel when we walk together..our magnetic impulses to touch one another have faded like the landscape from sight as the sun backs down and the moon raises night.

SQUL

A tree of Hope
Inside the Sun
Obviating the Obvious
Inotu
Afflicted Wolf: Wolf Pack

The truth

It was in the Ambiance of the Sun that we found an egg. Prior to this discovery the two brothers constantly fought to become an alpha male and rule over the people inside the sun. Since nobody wished to favor either side and assist in building an army of opposing forces they decided to give ruling rights to whatever dwelt within the egg and until then they decided to let each brother rule equally. They did this by giving one brother the day and one brother night. Since the people of the sun never slept, this was an equal choice and since each brother had his own attraction to day and night there was no feud over this decision.

As the days passed and the egg still had not hatched, the people that lived inside the sun had slowly begun to forget about the egg. The brothers did not mind because they had become fond of day and night. Eventually the egg had been forgotten all together as a incubator for life and had slowly become instead a statue. The inhabits slowly begun to recognize this statue as the balance between day and night forgetting all together that they had once wished it incubated a life form that was to be named king.

to be continued...

In the past, my paradise was in Russian Roulette and that was when I thought there was more to life in Death. As a relative of mine once quoted to me, "Suicide is a Permanent Solution for a temporary Problem." Now that I have had a year of 3 Deaths, and have been in a hospital facing death myself I have learned that truly Life is about living.

This may seem obvious to some and simple, but you have to understand practicing and mastering living is a much different game than simply living. For those of us who have been awaken, we are forced to Practice Life. For those of us who find it so difficult to find beliefs in others religions, and spiritual practices we must pave the way for our own. I myself have chosen the path, of Life is Good. It is simple in saying, but much harder in accepting. However, it is the metronome that is required to keep the rhythm of enjoying life and to give me a reason to continue practice the art of living.

There are many opposing forces out there that sometimes make us question whether or not life has a purpose or meaning to it. The purpose in life, is what you make of it. Just because I believe there is no such thing as luck, since luck is the art of making the best of the hands that life has dealt us, I still do make reasons for why things occur in life. When things are down, I ask myself what am I doing wrong lately and I step back and think about stepping on a new path. When things are going good, I remind myself there is nothing wrong with being happy and not to go back to enjoying life in the storm.

There are forces out there that aid us in understanding how beautiful life truly is and everything it has to offer. There is Love, which has many faces and can be truly deceptive. First of all, the most under appreciated form of love, is that which comes from family members and blood. That love is something we are born into, and like all things that come to us easily or are given to us without work we take for granted. There is one way to avoid this, Family members have to remind each other that the unconditional love we were born into is different from the LOVE we will work to give each other.

They say Blood is thicker than water, but we forget that without water there would be no blood. So do not underestimate the power of friendships and the ability to create family members by choice, not by birth right. The Kings, Princes and Queens who are born into royalty have "landed on third base and believed they have hit a triple" and they will never understand the hard work it takes for someone who has to start from zero unless they themselves lose their throne and have to earn it back.

For those of us who were born with 'little', don't forget the moral of the Count of Monte Cristo, because making those who are born into royalty jealousy and envy is a very dangerous game. Don't forget the order of hierarchy, but don't let it keep you down either. If you are unsatisfied with those above you, remember the Ethopian proverb, "When the master passes the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."And remember, when we arrive at where we were going, the greatest experience of it all was the process of getting there. And don't be shy to help those who are struggling, Remember where we came from.

Venomous Vicarious Viper (VS Syndrome)

Too repetitive on our broadcasts are we going to fade out or be tuned out.

The listeners are beginning to wonder if their track is cycling, impatiently they begin fast-forwarding.

I wish I could prove to all of you that the real asshole is the martyr, the person who claims that they are responsible for all of our sins. A self-centered insecure individual that plays the victim of society projecting guilt on an entire nation of people. I rather see someone blame the whole world for their problems than to try and take on the responsibility of everyone's mistakes...and I'm preaching again as if I am any better. The first step towards peace is recognizing humanity inside oneself, imperfection, manufactured by man and woman, dormant when away from nature, sheltered by technology and surrounded by cosmetics and plastic surgery.

Thoughts from my cell phone

I wish I could understand the vibrations that radiate out of your spine like a musical note that I have found myself tone deaf too. It's not that I'm not listening, not that I don't care, it's simply this: I can't hear

Live each moment

So I realized today that if I woke up tomorrow with the house I want, the car I want, the income I want and all those other things than I may be ecstatic for a moment, this moment could last days, weeks, months maybe even years...but eventually it would pass. The real thing that makes all of those dreams and ambitions amazing is having them, striving for them, dreaming about them, lusting for them tasting them and working towards achieving them. Nothing compares to all of that. Its a cheezy thing, but in the Notorious movie Big E talks about Tupac telling him to enjoy the 'coming up' part, cuz thats the best part. And every fortune cookie has dropped a line or two about, "Happiness is the journey not that desination" and it all just makes sense. I guess the moral of the story is this, never stop striving and dreaming, because the second you have everything in your life that you could ever possibly desire, there is nothing left to strive for or aim towards. I know you self cenetered pricks would love to say that "i am inspired by me" or would love to be the one to 'set the bar,' but the truth is....its fucking depressing setting the bar. Its lonely being on top.

On Apple Products

When it comes to apple products, i feel as though someone keeps trying to sell me a Hamburger. Except the first time they sold me just the hamburger patty, the second time they told me if i buy the hamburger patty i get lettuce. The third time they said if i buy the patty, i get lettuce and a bun. The forth time they said if I buy the Hamburger patty i get lettuce, bun and onions. The fifth time they told me that if i buy the Hamburger i get the patty, Buns, lettuce, and grilled onions. It wasn't until the 6th time that they added a new application, Sauce, to the Hamburger already composed of buns, lettuce and grilled onions. The seventh time they told me that I could buy a hamburger with two patties, a bun, lettuce, grilled onions and sauce. This continued until one day i was able to buy my Double Double Animal style (A burger with all the works, grilled)

Paraphilia

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Dictionary:
"paraphilia |ˌparəˈfilēə|
noun Psychiatry
a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities"

Derived from Greek para: Besides and Philia: love.
"refers to powerful and persistent sexual interest other than in copulatory or precopulatory behavior with phenotypically normal, consenting adult human partners" (wikipedia.org).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a list of Paraphilia's provided by Wikipedia:

Formal name	Attraction to ___	Refs / see also	DSM code[3]
Abasiophilia	physically disabled people, leg braces, etc
Acrotomophilia	amputees	[4][5]
Agalmatophilia	statues, mannequins, immobility	[6]
Algolagnia	physical pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone	[7]
Andromimetophilia	female-to-male transsexuals	[4][8]
Apotemnophilia	being an amputee	[4][9]
Asphyxiophilia	strangulation of oneself, loss of control of one's own breathing. Also, constriction.	[4]
Autagonistophilia	being on stage or on camera	[10][11]
Autassassinophilia	staging one's own murder	[4]
Autoerotic asphyxiation	self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness	[11]
Autoandrophilia	being male	[12][13]
Autogynephilia	being female	[14]
Autonepiophilia	being an infant	[10]
Autopedophilia	being prepubescent	[15]
Biastophilia	assault and rape	[4]
Chremastistophilia	being robbed or held up	[10]
Chronophilia	partners of a widely differing chronological age	[10]
Coprophilia	feces	[16][17]
Cratophilia	strength	[18]
Changophilia	girls morphing during sexual intercourse	[18]
Dendrophilia	Trees	[4]
Diaperism	diapers	[4]
Emetophilia	vomit	[8]
Erotic asphyxia	asphyxia of oneself or others	[19]
Erotophonophilia	murder	[4]
Exhibitionism	exposing oneself sexually to others; variantly with or without their consent	[17]	303.4
Fetishism	nonliving objects	[17]	302.81
Formicophilia	insects, small animals, etc.	[10][20]
Frotteurism	rubbing against a non-consenting person	[17]	302.89
Gerontophilia	old people	[21]
Gynandromorphophilia	women with penises, men cross-dressed as women, or male-to-female transsexuals	[22][23]
Gynemimetophilia	male-to-female transsexuals	[4][23]
Hebephilia	pubescent children	[24][25]
Homeovestism	wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex	[26][27]
Hybristophilia	criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes	[10][28]
Infantophilia	children five years old or younger	[29]
Paraphilic infantilism	being a baby	[17]
Kleptophilia, kleptolagnia	stealing	[23]
Klismaphilia	enemas	[17][23]
Knismolagnia	tickling or being tickled
Lactaphilia	human breast milk	[18]
Liquidophilia	attraction to liquids; strong desire to immerse genitals in liquid	[18]
Macrophilia	giants, primarily domination by giant women	[18]
Mammaphilia, mammagynophilia, mastofact	female breasts	[18]
Masochism	suffering, e.g. being humiliated, beaten, bound, etc.	[17]	302.83
Menophilia	menstruation	[18]
Morphophilia	some particular body shape and size	[11]
Mucophilia	human mucus	[18]
Mysophilia	dirtiness, e.g. soiled or decaying things	[23]
Narratophilia	obscenity	[23]
Nasophilia	noses	[18]
Necrophilia	corpses, dead people	[17][30]
Nepiophilia	infants	[10]
Olfactophilia	smells	[8][10][23]
Partialism	particular non-genital body part(s)	[17][23]
Peodeiktophilia	exposing one's penis	[4]
Pedophilia, paedophilia	prepubescent children	[17][31]	302.2
Pedovestism	dressing like a child	[15]
Pictophilia	pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures	[10][23]
Podophilia	feet	[18]
Raptophilia	committing rape	[10]
Robot fetishism	robots; people acting like robots or dressed in robot costumes; transformation into a robot	[32]
Sadism	causing pain	[17]	302.84
Salirophilia	soiling others	[23]
Scatophilia	feces	[18]
Scoptophilia, scopophilia	watching others being sexual	[11]
Shoe fetishism	shoes or other footwear	[33]
Sinophilia	Chinese
Somnophilia	sleeping or unconscious people	[10][23]
Sthenolagnia	strength or muscles	[18]
Stigmatophilia	piercings and tattoos	[4][18]
Symphorophilia	disasters	[4]
Telephone scatologia, Telephonicophilia	obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers	[10][17]
Transvestic fetishism, transvestism	clothing associated with the opposite sex	[17][34]	302.3
Transvestophilia	cross-dressed partner	[10]
Trichophilia	hair	[18]
Troilism, triolism	watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge	[11][35]
Urophagia	drinking urine	[8]
Urophilia	urine, particularly urinating in public, urinating on others, and being urinated on by others	[8][10][11][17]
Vampirism, also known as Murphyism	drawing or drinking blood	[36][37]
Vorarephilia	eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece	Macrophilia, [38]
Voyeurism	watching others be sexual or naked, particularly without their knowledge	[17]	302.82
Zoophilia	animals (actual, not anthropomorphic)	[8][10][17][23]
Zoosadism	animals' pain