"How long?" Since what. Since brushing with the law? Fermenting soil. Since visiting the hospital? My prison. Still no health care, still no reason, still stuck in this country, still a proud treason. The sun was piercing, but I long since abandoned the idea of maintaining sunglasses. My sister's baby was brewing and I knew how far from reality I had really drifted.
"If I close my eyes now, I'd get 7 hours of sleep." Too responsible, too healthy for me. I am abandoning all hopes of maintaining this machine I was birthed into. I never got to choose the performance or the colour. I was always so capable, full of so much potential. I was always thinking of removing myself from the picture, but never finding a way till now.
"How to exert so much effort into doing nothing." The genius' idea of being lazy.
I stare into the toilet and I urinate. It seems like I'm spending minutes, not seconds, holding my penis and emptying my bladder. So I ponder and think about what else I want to extract from my life. I think about all my friends that I have lost to Heroin, either physically, mentally, or just simply lost.
Stay the fuck away from me. I am sorry and this doesn't help an addict, but I must honestly say this to thee:
No I'm not being insensitive, I'm just emotionally distraught from the death of a dear friend, the rehab of others and the lost of communication with the rest. Once this drug becomes a part of a persons life there is no room for anything else and they never truly quit. I am thankful for every day that I've not ever partaken in this dance. Because I'd be in the gutter, dead or pissing on myself and on my way there.
And I wonder how important the performance has been for Films, aka the Theater. And how are they getting people to go? Yes they have brought in some form of revolution: 3D. A new experience, something to make it exciting again. Well I'm glad they are adapting there, is it possible to adapt the content? The answer is YES, but as long as people keep buying the crap there is no reason to stop selling.
Scenario: If a person is having to constant nag at another person to hang out at which point couldn't it be more clear that there isn't two willing participants and thus there is no relationship at all. And really now, who is the real asshole? The person simply minding their own business or the mosquito constantly flying into the room, buzzing and maybe coming in and sucking a little blood, just a little...and we swat, we swat, we spray ourselves...we do everything we can..but its not until we fucking swat the mother fucker and spray its minuscule guts all over ourselves that we can go, "ah." wipe the bastard, or flick its bigger parts away and cleanse ourselves. Its not until than that both souls can be free.
I'm not at all referencing to music, I just always post a lil something for people to listen to while reading. I myself am usually streaming something while writing..anyways.
This week I watched Timer, which is a movie about an invention that predicts the exact moment when you will meet 'the one.' The main girl her timer is --d -- h -- m -- s (blank) which means that her one true love hasn't installed a timer device yet. And then her sister has one that predicts she wont fall in love til she is like 50 something...so as one can predict they are both unhappy with their results..having had the devices installed at age 14 and going into their 30's. Crazy concept, interesting movie.
It was only recently that I discovered GOD, or a Higher Power (for the sensitive ones). It was Chewbacca. A creature that is commonly known as a Wookie, with the uncommonly known origin, the planet Kashyyyk. However, this creature has found residency on the planet Endor. This planet is composed of two-foot tall creatures, commonly called Ewoks. These creatures are tribal and fans of great worship. Chewbacca himself isn't considered a GOD on their planet, a common mistake for creatures with small brains, but they fail to understand his power.
In World War II Chewbacca rode Squirlback and was the first to stand up to the Nazi's. he was the leading force and voice in DIRECT contact against Satan's Army, powered by his son, Adolph Hitler. With a mere Crossbow he conquered many soldier brigades who chose to use 'highly developed' weapons, frag bombs and heavy machine guns. He disappeared as soon as the humans themselves began using direct force and contact with the Nazi's. He was the conscious voice for many who chose to stand up against the Nazis preventing Satan's soldiers from overrunning the planet Earth.
Many years later, in a Galaxy Far away, he again came forth with his crossbow, fighting the men of Satan's Army, with their Lazer guns and other highly developed weapons. This was a direct attack on Satan's son, reincarnated in the guise commonly known as Lord Vader. It wasn't until Jesus himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi, appeared to influence Luke and many others, before dying for their sins, that once again men took direct contact and force in fighting Satan's army.
Many believe Chewbacca lies dormant, but what they fail to understand is he has re-incarnated once again, this time in the guise of the Universal Re-Monster.
I had my fun with sarcasm, but if I'm going to speak professionally and take this thread seriously I will start by agreeing with your main point and that is, that a resistance to change is the real issue present.
Long lines and traffic jams exist at ALL lots and are the result of many things, faulty equipment, human errors, not having correct payment ready at the exit (whether it be the right amount of change or cash at all (city lots), credit card/atm card (pn lot) and losing tickets, but these issues and more are present at ALL parking lots in Santa Barbara not just the lot in Paseo Nuevo.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to satisfy everyone, this system has been in place since may 2010, it works for the majority of people, but that small percentage of people that it doesn't work for...do cause traffic jams, as they will in any system.'
Those who positively would like to try and IMPROVE the system and really do concern themselves with the profit of the stores in the Paseo Nuevo mall, why not try to leave positive realistic feedback, other than, bring back the old system with people.
I can assure all of you that during the Holidays and busy times, there are people there at the exits helping patrons get in and out. But these people receive a LOT of abuse. I guess it is OK seeing as how they make good money and learning patience, dealing with 'special' people and their 'special' needs is a life lesson. Plus dealing with liars and people trying to weasel out of paying their fees in luxurious cars is priceless, entertaining and humorous. It would make a great movie. So sign me up for volunteer work while I write the screenplay'
I miss human interaction, I miss the good Ol Days when I could YELL and negotiate my way out of paying $1.50. That poor parking attendent, a college student or elderly high school drop out working for minimum wage, god they made me feel soOo much better about myself, now I am forced to face the cold machinery and rely on myself to read signs, use a credit card/atm card, GOD WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO!"
I am so sick of Hollywood or whoever it is, taking PERFECTLY good films and 're-adapting' them or remaking them..For instance, 'Let the Right One In,' was a Swedish film that came out in 2008. It contained an amazingly fresh take on Vampires through the story of a bullied 12-year old boy and a vampire female whom he befriends and falls in love with. Straying from many 'Vampire' norms, making the film feel feel incredibly real....
Inspired by a close friend, the Bardot in the Blue a Paris Bird....
Here is a blog i wrote in 2007, it is more focused on politics and my distate for astronomy. Hilarious read it here [HERE]
"I believe that prostitution should be legalized. This is not a matter of my own my penis, It is not a super horny comment, nor is it a self-interest. It is in all actuality a concern for the well-being of humanity.
In Thailand, Prostitutes are looked up to, and regarded with as much respect/awe as a Doctor, Lawyer or any other high paid profession in our own country. There is no shame, and anyone who is related to a prostitute in that country is proud to have that woman as their daughter, sister or mother. They are the "bacon bringers" in the family unit, the main supporters. They are the ticket out of the harsh living conditions that their families may live in.
Second, it is a proven fact that these kind of things become worse when they are illegal. When abortion was taken to the streets, the conditions and practices were harsher and became deadly, many women died using a coat hanger and other crude tools to do the process themselves or by unlicensed doctors. With prostitution being illegal, we only see the down and dirty side of it. There is no regulation or inspection for sexual diseases. Not to mention the women aren't respected, they are mistreated and they are rely on some crack dealing/pimp to protect them. Also as pointed out by wade, another down and dirty side of prostitution is human trafficking.
By making prostitution legal, there would be more of acceptance and understanding for the labor this job entails. Not to mention, the protection for the women would come from our own government and a new set of laws that would be enacted once it became a legal practice. Furthermore, women could even have than have agents and protection, it could become a full fledged business and help boost our economy.
You may find this immoral. But i believe it ciphers a lot of bullshit that is already taking place in prude environments that turn their back on prostitution but accept gold digging, which in reality is a fancy term for prostitution. Some people are happy serving and pleasing others, why not give them the honor by legalizing their practice, so that they can have benefits, respect, understanding and maybe even a union.
It also would be a beneficial to men to make prostitution legal, rich old men then could understand and spot right away that the woman's main interest was in his money. This would help him to judge and weigh the relationship, there would be less deception in the relationship and you might come to find that men and women would actually be happier with this fog removed.
Regardless of whether or not we wish to make it legal or illegal it will exist. As stated earlier, literal prostitution already does exist within our country illegally and is under harsh conditions. Also as mentioned, indirect prostitution is already in existence in this country too. Any woman today that is with a man based solely on his wealth, is a prostitute. She may grow to love this man for more, or she may stay for the money and become even more of a whore.
If not for any other reason, why not capitalize on the opportunity and business of legalized prostitution. Most importantly, why not help protect human rights, men and women, by making this practice legal, understood and respected. You don't have to believe it is moral or right to understand and respect it, we can agree that not everyone agrees in the practice that lawyers partake in, but we can easily agree that it is respected.?
download full song: Boppernation
I know a lot of Fakers and Flakers. Santa Barbara blondes, that aren't blonde astound me. Superficial, social climbing bitchy monkeys define the rest of Thee.
To: the invisible liberty of patronizing agony.
I imagine Panda meat contains the texture of Pork, the richness of Duck & the mental uplifting superiority of any blood diamond..because in the end as human beings, there is nothing more rewarding than acting like the most dominant species on the planet.
The Inkwell is completely dried up. I need to be inspired.
"Do I believe in God, Do I believe in Me, Controversy"
Welp, back to reality again. I got to share the fantasy world with another, but at the expense of my dear friends relationship. It is hard to enjoy, reminisce on anything positive after so much negativity.
FUck you all.
"I believe in a balanced diet with rigorous exercise."
Welcome to the glamour, this adobe is my shamrock.
"Things I don't remember' slowly fading into memories.
I only have one love, a corset mineral I call Fran.
Beyond the capable. I am the available.
"This just isn't working out"
Piercing her belly button with a needle.
Etching vitamins into her gently.
"Turn Up the Bass"
Full of excuses, so many.
Pretend to live so heavily,
Exhume the colour red.
I stole my wealth with Engine Nudity,
A classy gal I met the night before.
She stole my heart with ingenuity,
such a toxic frame....
I'm bent out of shape thinking about her Cuntnivorous ways.
Like a cannibalistic musical she devoured me whole
You guys get to read it first, this will all be compiled and composed on http://boppernation.com my adventures with Felix, which started yesterday August 19th 2010.
Full Service. I feel like a king, I experienced things today that I’ve only seen on television. Upon my arrival, near the baggage claim/transportation (which by the way stretches for miles in Atlanta), my driver held up a sign ‘Sean Mullen’ written on it. I pointed at him and smiled. (I drink a lot when I fly, I wont spend too much time on the details of it, but wine, double jager bomb, double jack n coke, etc). Anyways once I find my bag he grabs it from me and we head out to his car.
Now let me start from the top. Black man, black full suit, black lincoln, black leather interior, opens the back passenger side door, large amount of space, big black leather chair, with a cold Dasani waiting for me and klenex. I tell him I’ve never had service like this. Prior to this Felix had told me to tell the driver to go to Buckhead, instead of his house. I put the driver on the phone with Fe, so he knew where to go, the driver smiles at me when he’s done and says “Dallas Austin is there too.”
Bistro Niko, a full table of Celebrities Angie Romansanta, Dallas Austin, Nas, Nese Djouma, Felix Da Housecat, Bullit, an overly aggressive but funny fairy (who I’m crammed in the back of the SUV with later on, to balance out all the royal treatment I had earlier. He does at one point whisper in my ear “I have cocaine back at the house.” If this is a homosexual pick up line, it will get you laid or get you punched by an angry addict. Good luck. Back to the dinner…which I don’t eat, but I go over to one of the tables grab an empty wine glass and start pouring myself Chardonay (There is tons of Chardonay on the table as we leave, I just would never let it go to waste…OH yeah let me not forget juan, or one or w/e his name was, Dallas Austin’s cousin who flashed his penis several times..and lets not forget to mention two things maybe three about Dallas Austin. One drives a pimped out all black Charger, two has pictures of his dick on his phone so he can slap people with it, three. Built the music scene in Atlanta and is the reason Felix is in Atlanta, according to Felix..now that’s four things and I’m moving on.
Once at Felix’s house, which of course has an impressive Tequila bar, including a bottle with his face on it. Several photos of Nese and Felix blown up and put around the house, Classic style wrap around staircase, I’m stationed in the Spaceship or rather next to the Studio…which is insane..So many speakers, lights, glass table.
Anyways its 606am EST, my heads at 3am pacific. This is Wolf out…Today’s the big day, Felix’s Birthday Bash show in ATL. Everyone will be there and this year that includes me.
Access Denied. "English, do you speak it Mother Fucker"
Like stars on the blanket, we kiss. Light stars on the blanket, we fuck.
Changing into different animals, mechanics.
Money ain't a damn thing, but it gets the honey.
Money ain't a damn thing, but it keeps em hungry.
Vibrations, like turquoise lions.
Liars, I can't digest them.
[The Ceremony Begins]
I think you have a serious problem, you enjoy life too much.
At the expense of others, daily.
Only the strong survive.
"Do you miss them?"
Does an inmate miss his cell?
I was always told, "You cannot be insane Sean, because an insane person doesn't know that they are insane."
What separates my insanity, my crazy behavior from yours is that I've accepted it completely, I have no shame and am completely in touch, in tune with who I am.
I've accepted each of my addictions, my needs, my wants and I know the damage I am doing to my body as well as the maintenance it requires. I am not ignorant, or arrogant, or stupid.
I think you have no idea who you are and it only saddens me, but I'm not going to take any part in that horse and carriage. It is a path you must walk alone and I'm not going to hold that hand.
*I want my dirty disco girl, she is not her.
[My Dream from last night, that inspired my Revelation]
I was in my anima form, a female at a psychiatric ward and I was begging the nurse to allow me to take another day off, but she told me that I have had plenty of days off and it was time to return.
I pointed to another girl and asked that she take my place, the nurse argued aggressively with me, reminding me that the other girl had done her time and once again insured me that it was my time.
[This was the struggle of personalities in my mind, Each character representing a different part of me, at least the ones that exist on that floor, I am scared to see the ones that dwell stories below and curious to see the wolf]
I've already forgotten which personality fell for her, which one clung on and which one took care of her, but they are all gone.
When the passenger wants a refund this driver cannot offer then the damage will never be repaired.
"It is only the body that dies" Currently being rejected by the lack of chemical romance, all substitutes are only irritating me more. I have lost my mind, donated memories and words freely to anyone who bothered to listen. I've forgotten half the thing I've said, done. I'm waking up in strange places, but at least my back is no longer bothering me.
It is not the kidneys we should be concerned with, the lungs are all but collapsed and as this beat up Ford continues to move forward, I beg of all passengers along for the ride to remember this vital fact:
Those judgments laid out so freely, the gossip, it is all a part of your own insecurity. Your own facts and realizations about your deepest concerns, your fears with yourself, your body.
So go ahead, judge me and while you are at it, go ahead and add just a little extra makeup today.
But know this. I fucking own you. Why? How? Because your lives are so boring, that you want so badly to believe, to live in the fantasy that you will indulge and mind yourself in the affairs of others and even go so far as to dress and live like them.
So sip your martini, kicks back a couple pills, or put yourself in a deep paralysis on the old mattress with the heroine needle still in your arm. You are nothing more than another animal on this earth, no more significant than the flies and bugs you swat at and kill on a daily basis. That dead mouse over there, the dead possum on the side of the road, it is just as as significant to me as you are.
"papa dont preach"
|Formal name||Source of arousal|
|Abasiophilia||People with impaired mobility|
|Acrotomophilia||People with amputations|
|Agalmatophilia||Statues, mannequins and immobility|
|Algolagnia||Pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone; differs from masochism as there is a biologically different interpretation of the sensation rather than a subjective interpretation|
|Apotemnophilia||Having an amputation|
|Asphyxiophilia||Asphixiation or strangulation|
|Autagonistophilia||Being on stage or on camera|
|Autassassinophilia||Being in life-threatening situations|
|Autoandrophilia||Arousal by a biological female imagining herself as a male|
|Autoerotic asphixiation||Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness|
|Autogynephilia||Arousal by a biological male imagining himself as a female|
|Biastophilia||Arousal based on the rape of an unconsenting person|
|Chremastistophilia||Being robbed or held up|
|Chronophilia||Partners of a widely differing chronological age|
|Coprophilia||Feces; also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia|
|Dacryphilia||Tears or crying|
|Erotic asphyxiation||Asphyxia of oneself or others|
|Exhibitionism||Exposing oneself sexually to others, with or without their consent|
|Formicophilia||Being crawled on by insects|
|Frotteurism||Rubbing against a non-consenting person||302.89|
|Gynandromorphophilia||Women with penises, men cross-dressed as women, or trans women|
|Homeovestism||Wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex|
|Hybristophilia||Criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes|
|Infantophilia||Not in general use. Recently suggested term referring to pedophilia with a focus on children five years old or younger.|
|Kleptophilia||Stealing; also known as kleptolagnia|
|Liquidophilia||Attraction, or desire to immerse genitals in liquids|
|Maiesiophilia||Sexual attraction of pregnant women|
|Macrophilia||Giants, primarily domination by giant women or men|
|Mammaphilia||Breasts; also known as mammagynophilia and mastofact|
|Masochism||The desire to suffer, be beaten, bound or otherwise humiliated||302.83|
|Mechanophilia||The sexual attraction to cars or other machines, also stated as "mechaphilia".  |
|Morphophilia||Particular body shapes or sizes|
|Mysophilia||Dirtiness, soiled or decaying things|
|Narratophilia||Obscene words, colloquially known as "talking dirty"|
|Paraphilic infantilism||Being a baby; also referred to as autonepiophilia|
|Partialism||Specific, non-genital body parts|
|Paedophilia||Prepubescent children, also spelled pedophilia ||302.2|
|Peodeiktophilia||Exposing one's penis|
|Pedovestism||Dressing like a child|
|Pictophilia||Pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures|
|Sadism||Inflicting pain on others||302.84|
|Salirophilia||Soiling or dirtying others|
|Sexual fetishism||Nonliving objects||302.81|
|Somnophilia||Sleeping or unconscious people|
|Sthenolagnia||Muscles and displays of strength|
|Stigmatophilia||Body piercings and tattoos|
|Symphorophilia||Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents|
|Telephone scatologia||Obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia|
|Teratophilia||Deformed or monstrous people|
|Transvestic fetishism||Wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex; also known as transvestism||302.3|
|Transvestophilia||A transvestite sexual partner|
|Troilism||Cuckoldism, watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge; also known as triolism|
|Urolagnia||Urination, particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on|
|Vampirism||Drawing or drinking blood|
|Vorarephilia||Eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece |
|Voyeurism||Watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia.||302.82|
|Zoophilia||Animals (actual, not anthropomorphic)|
|Zoosadism||Inflicting pain on or seeing animals in pain|
Taken from Doctor Wiki [here]
Unforunately they will not register my Paraphilia, Changophilia