The Order of Day and Night
“Most people come and go it’s a natural part of life that I have come to accept. However, I’m still getting used to those who have left me physically but remain forever a part of me.” This thought came to me one night while I was sitting in motionless chair. Out of all the chairs to sit on in the house, or ones to be bought out of the store, I chose this one. An old black wooden chair. Why not one of those nice computer chairs, with the cushions, and the maneuverability. I mean who doesn’t love going up and down, spinning around and having the ability to roll across the floor! I continued to write my mind was trailing off on a random thought again. I decided to focus on the road and avoid an unwanted collision.
“During the day we play together and dance with the natives in their fashion. We forget who it is we are and get caught up in the universal thoughts of attraction. Thankfully our nature is merely nocturnal and during the day we are only sleeping which releases a majority of the burden for our actions. It is at night that we redeem ourselves by awakening. Awakening to the real world, bringing us off of the dreamer’s clouds. When the world is quiet and we are left with our thoughts and ourselves.”
I had reached that state again where my mind was blank and I was left trying to soak up the sun of the words that beat down in rays that could warm, tan and most definitely burn. *Alarm Blaring. I groan and get out of bed and stumble half way across the room. Having an alarm right near you is convenient, but too convenient for a mind that outsmarts the body and figures out ways to master the process of turning it off without even being in an “awaken” state. I look at the pile of clothes on the ground, my dresser is broken so I rarely bother putting the clothes in. The other options of buying a new dresser or fixing this one don’t even cross my mind. No, that would be too easy. I grab a pair of boxers and head down the hall to the bathroom. Inside I apply toothpaste to my brush, as I turn on the water. I am still half-asleep as I make my way into the shower and get my body under the hot water. Once I am awake, my mind is again at lightning speed.
Into the busy trussels of the day, I began my chameleon-like approach to the overwhelming thoughts that come into my mind and I start “adapting.” Already before I even can park my car I am sure a thousand and one unknown judgments, some out of sheer boredom have already labeled me by my car and the way that I drive. As I park my car and begin walking through the parking lot, my mind is slowly adapting to the “normal” behavior of the day. “What do I look like, is my fly undone, oh my god look at that girls butt, oh shit I hope this guy doesn’t think I was giving him a mean look, what are people thinking about me?” The traffic is insane, and no longer does the people who are unfortunate and fighting for their survival even occur to me. My thoughts are based on how well I do on a test, how well I look, whether or not the clothes I am wearing match or look good on me. My epidemics include being late, missing a question or two on a test, someone disagreeing with me, not being able to have that m3, m5 and other nice cars I see parked next to me. These are horrible things, but under the heat of the sun, the influence from the part of the world I live in, these thoughts are very real.
I just want to listen to music through the headphones of the globe, I'll mix their screams with the cries of laughter. I'll cross over from obese greed and drown it in tragedy. I'll take one shot to a building and ignore the millions of bombs we drop to compensate for our more expensive lives. I'll bask in the glory of being able to eat the African families weight, malnourished and all. I'll parade around in clothes I don't need, expelling exhaust. "everything i could say would feed into insignificance"
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