I just want to listen to music through the headphones of the globe, I'll mix their screams with the cries of laughter. I'll cross over from obese greed and drown it in tragedy. I'll take one shot to a building and ignore the millions of bombs we drop to compensate for our more expensive lives. I'll bask in the glory of being able to eat the African families weight, malnourished and all. I'll parade around in clothes I don't need, expelling exhaust. "everything i could say would feed into insignificance"

Welcome to my Journal. IGNORE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, or become my Editor


This is the Future.
Either the past is catching up, or never left.



I am swiping my memory clear and thus far it has worked.
Despite waking up in a foreign bed with a text message to my mom "gelle"
with no previous text from here, followed by a dubious "?"
I have found everything else to a be foreign.
This is DR. Robinson paging Helbert Forts,
Patient S13t19m88 is suffering from a acute memory loss


I woke in my sister's bed which is aross the hall from my own. Don't worry she lives miles away in Vegas with her father. Anyways I had a few texts, random ones...but one caught my fancy..my own mom had tested me ? and when went to see what i sent her i had wrote Gelle... Wtf is GELLE
My stomach is upset with me. I don't know what to tell it.
btw citizen cope is coming to LA soon..i know this is straying away from Electro news.But its important
I just want to write and Make Music. It only pays the Bills for a small percentage but it covers the financial weight of my soul and Happiness.


I am no longer my Mom's Favorite.

I'm a tomato in a basket of Apples and I'm finally feeling squished.

My life has been a series of awkward pauses, with minor glimpses of hope followed by lasting shades of darkness. Each day I grow closer and closer to accepting that maybe I'm just an old Joe and anyone who has ever talked me up as some unique character has only been building up an ego with no merit. I'm not going to win the lottery, I'm not going to write some Novel that will shake humanity by it's root forever changing the way we look at the world. Like so many people I will simply die one day and although those who I have come into contact with may remember me and carry my name for a bit longer..in the end they will die too and suddenly my name will turn into sean who?

Archaic Moods

Engage. Everlasting, Ecstatic, Energy.
Natures. Naughty, Naked, nails.
Develop. Dirty, diverse, drives.

Forensic foreplay.
Unique. ultimately underrated, underage unit.
Collapsed cable catacombs.

blooming boredom by bridging bolting bruising bodies.


Welcome to Wednesday

Unfortunately there isn't anything much of value to write today.


Go see the movie Moon.

Eat Vietnamese food At Saigon order #21.


Check this right the fuck off my list of things to do today

Apparently Sarah Palin has done something worthy of Merit for this country, inspiring a Porno with Lisa Ann..Go Hustler! This is the only reason this person should be a celebrity in my opinion and the only attention she should be getting, on the shelf with Paris Hilton and any other person who became famous through sex.


Happiness is a tree that sprouts beautiful leaves, flowers delightful fruit and provides comfortable shade.

The Day I stopped Lying

In a tapestry painting, flourishing on the floor.
A rhythmic tapping, kept the metronome knock at the door.
A life of happiness for real honesty,
after living a lie together she called life.
And a real smile of ecstasy,
without a drug, blindfold or lie.

Hormonal tentacles, strangling the poor.
The only victim is the people who we let abuse us,
since we train people how we want to be treated.
Thankfully those people don't exist anymore.

And they'll sing a song of romance,
How they won the heart and felt loved.
If just for a moment, to feel something is to feel our own vibrations
If just for a moment, to heal someone's aching is to doctor our own pain.
than the selfless victim who lead himself on,
smiles at the new shadow and her figure,
more suitable and full, less stickily and eager.
more independently and secure, less fever.

And all while I count, on the one hand I have left.
For of all my fingers, 10 of them I've slept.
I now move on to toes,
Thankfully it is I taking each step.

Chapter 1



H foe quote

"I'm a real live human being [x], sometimes i want sweet, sometimes i want sour, sometimes I don't know what i want. My shit stinks, I'm going to die someday."- Hallam Foe.

This is life fortunately.

On the nights that I lay, with my heart aching in my throat
I scrape against the walls, bump into strangers, just to feel less alone.
When I'm awake i enjoy the solitude, but my dreams vibrate differently
and I keep chasing the sunny days with a shady coma.
But it never rains, nothing to clean the slate
so it all stays, like a pig finding a way to organize it's filth.

Each day the same the numbers, same colours and different strangers
A couple of them even appear to be friendly.
I'd organize my associates like plastic army men scattered around the room.
A couple of my favorite ones, played with the most and left somewhere visible when i grow older.
The unfortunate ones locked away or tossed in the trash with paper, old food and receipts.
This is life fortunatel, a series of awkward pauses and violent but happy memories.


We can't help ourselves, we all wanna be Prince.

I have electric track marks running up and down my arms. I am completely hooked and I fear for my humanity. The Machine is winning..UC-33e t-minus days and counting before it is in my possession and I am mixing that sound of 'man's sex with machine.'-Disco times call for Disco measures...I am obsessed, but isn't that part of Life: chasing the dream?

Inventing the wheel was a matter of proper rotation
Taking a chance requires motivation.
Life is endless without a destination.