Why I live for the Dream

"
I never meant to cause you any sorrow.
I never meant to cause you any pain.
I only wanted to one time see you laughing.
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain.
"

Returning to the real world in t-minus hours

Hello Boys & Girls

You guys get to read it first, this will all be compiled and composed on http://boppernation.com my adventures with Felix, which started yesterday August 19th 2010.

Day 1

Full Service. I feel like a king, I experienced things today that I’ve only seen on television. Upon my arrival, near the baggage claim/transportation (which by the way stretches for miles in Atlanta), my driver held up a sign ‘Sean Mullen’ written on it. I pointed at him and smiled. (I drink a lot when I fly, I wont spend too much time on the details of it, but wine, double jager bomb, double jack n coke, etc). Anyways once I find my bag he grabs it from me and we head out to his car.

Now let me start from the top. Black man, black full suit, black lincoln, black leather interior, opens the back passenger side door, large amount of space, big black leather chair, with a cold Dasani waiting for me and klenex. I tell him I’ve never had service like this. Prior to this Felix had told me to tell the driver to go to Buckhead, instead of his house. I put the driver on the phone with Fe, so he knew where to go, the driver smiles at me when he’s done and says “Dallas Austin is there too.”

Bistro Niko, a full table of Celebrities Angie Romansanta, Dallas Austin, Nas, Nese Djouma, Felix Da Housecat, Bullit, an overly aggressive but funny fairy (who I’m crammed in the back of the SUV with later on, to balance out all the royal treatment I had earlier. He does at one point whisper in my ear “I have cocaine back at the house.” If this is a homosexual pick up line, it will get you laid or get you punched by an angry addict. Good luck. Back to the dinner…which I don’t eat, but I go over to one of the tables grab an empty wine glass and start pouring myself Chardonay (There is tons of Chardonay on the table as we leave, I just would never let it go to waste…OH yeah let me not forget juan, or one or w/e his name was, Dallas Austin’s cousin who flashed his penis several times..and lets not forget to mention two things maybe three about Dallas Austin. One drives a pimped out all black Charger, two has pictures of his dick on his phone so he can slap people with it, three. Built the music scene in Atlanta and is the reason Felix is in Atlanta, according to Felix..now that’s four things and I’m moving on.

Once at Felix’s house, which of course has an impressive Tequila bar, including a bottle with his face on it. Several photos of Nese and Felix blown up and put around the house, Classic style wrap around staircase, I’m stationed in the Spaceship or rather next to the Studio…which is insane..So many speakers, lights, glass table.

Anyways its 606am EST, my heads at 3am pacific. This is Wolf out…Today’s the big day, Felix’s Birthday Bash show in ATL. Everyone will be there and this year that includes me.

xo
Wolf

Financial Gains

Access Denied. "English, do you speak it Mother Fucker"
Like stars on the blanket, we kiss. Light stars on the blanket, we fuck.
Changing into different animals, mechanics.
Money ain't a damn thing, but it gets the honey.
Money ain't a damn thing, but it keeps em hungry.

[perforated]

Vibrations, like turquoise lions.
Liars, I can't digest them.

[The Ceremony Begins]
I think you have a serious problem, you enjoy life too much.
At the expense of others, daily.
Only the strong survive.

"Do you miss them?"
Does an inmate miss his cell?

My Hapiness comes in Blue

I was always told, "You cannot be insane Sean, because an insane person doesn't know that they are insane."

What separates my insanity, my crazy behavior from yours is that I've accepted it completely, I have no shame and am completely in touch, in tune with who I am.

I've accepted each of my addictions, my needs, my wants and I know the damage I am doing to my body as well as the maintenance it requires. I am not ignorant, or arrogant, or stupid.

I think you have no idea who you are and it only saddens me, but I'm not going to take any part in that horse and carriage. It is a path you must walk alone and I'm not going to hold that hand.
*I want my dirty disco girl, she is not her.

[My Dream from last night, that inspired my Revelation]

I was in my anima form, a female at a psychiatric ward and I was begging the nurse to allow me to take another day off, but she told me that I have had plenty of days off and it was time to return.

I pointed to another girl and asked that she take my place, the nurse argued aggressively with me, reminding me that the other girl had done her time and once again insured me that it was my time.

[This was the struggle of personalities in my mind, Each character representing a different part of me, at least the ones that exist on that floor, I am scared to see the ones that dwell stories below and curious to see the wolf]

I've already forgotten which personality fell for her, which one clung on and which one took care of her, but they are all gone.

When the passenger wants a refund this driver cannot offer then the damage will never be repaired.

Transmission Fluid Leaking

"It is only the body that dies" Currently being rejected by the lack of chemical romance, all substitutes are only irritating me more. I have lost my mind, donated memories and words freely to anyone who bothered to listen. I've forgotten half the thing I've said, done. I'm waking up in strange places, but at least my back is no longer bothering me.

It is not the kidneys we should be concerned with, the lungs are all but collapsed and as this beat up Ford continues to move forward, I beg of all passengers along for the ride to remember this vital fact:

Those judgments laid out so freely, the gossip, it is all a part of your own insecurity. Your own facts and realizations about your deepest concerns, your fears with yourself, your body.

So go ahead, judge me and while you are at it, go ahead and add just a little extra makeup today.

But know this. I fucking own you. Why? How? Because your lives are so boring, that you want so badly to believe, to live in the fantasy that you will indulge and mind yourself in the affairs of others and even go so far as to dress and live like them.

So sip your martini, kicks back a couple pills, or put yourself in a deep paralysis on the old mattress with the heroine needle still in your arm. You are nothing more than another animal on this earth, no more significant than the flies and bugs you swat at and kill on a daily basis. That dead mouse over there, the dead possum on the side of the road, it is just as as significant to me as you are.

"papa dont preach"

Paraphilias

Try and find which one best suites you

Formal name	Source of arousal
Abasiophilia	People with impaired mobility[3]
Acrotomophilia	People with amputations[4][5]
Agalmatophilia	Statues, mannequins and immobility[6]
Algolagnia	Pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone; differs from masochism as there is a biologically different interpretation of the sensation rather than a subjective interpretation[7]
Andromimetophilia	Trans men[8][3]
Apotemnophilia	Having an amputation[4][9]
Asphyxiophilia	Asphixiation or strangulation[4]
Autagonistophilia	Being on stage or on camera[10][11]
Autassassinophilia	Being in life-threatening situations[4]
Autoandrophilia	Arousal by a biological female imagining herself as a male[12][13]
Autoerotic asphixiation	Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness[11]
Autogynephilia	Arousal by a biological male imagining himself as a female[14]
Biastophilia	Arousal based on the rape of an unconsenting person[4]
Chremastistophilia	Being robbed or held up[10]
Chronophilia	Partners of a widely differing chronological age[10]
Coprophilia	Feces; also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia[15][16]
Dacryphilia	Tears or crying[17]
Dendrophilia	Trees[4]
Emetophilia	Vomit[3]
Erotic asphyxiation	Asphyxia of oneself or others[18]
Erotophonophilia	Murder[4]
Exhibitionism	Exposing oneself sexually to others, with or without their consent[16]
Formicophilia	Being crawled on by insects[10][19]
Frotteurism	Rubbing against a non-consenting person[16]	302.89
Gerontophilia	Elderly people[20]
Gynandromorphophilia	Women with penises, men cross-dressed as women, or trans women[21][3]
Hebephilia	Pubescent children[22]
Homeovestism	Wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex[23][24]
Hybristophilia	Criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes[10][25]
Infantophilia	Not in general use. Recently suggested term referring to pedophilia with a focus on children five years old or younger.[26]
Kleptophilia	Stealing; also known as kleptolagnia[3]
Klismaphilia	Enemas[3]
Lactophilia	Breast milk[27]
Liquidophilia	Attraction, or desire to immerse genitals in liquids[27]
Maiesiophilia	Sexual attraction of pregnant women
Macrophilia	Giants, primarily domination by giant women or men[27]
Mammaphilia	Breasts; also known as mammagynophilia and mastofact[27]
Masochism	The desire to suffer, be beaten, bound or otherwise humiliated[16]	302.83
Mechanophilia	The sexual attraction to cars or other machines, also stated as "mechaphilia". [1] [2][28][29][30]
Menophilia	Menstruation[27]
Morphophilia	Particular body shapes or sizes[11]
Mucophilia	Mucus[27]
Mysophilia	Dirtiness, soiled or decaying things[3]
Narratophilia	Obscene words, colloquially known as "talking dirty"[3]
Nasophilia	Noses[27]
Necrophilia	Cadavers[16][31]
Olfactophilia	Smells[3][10][3]
Paraphilic infantilism	Being a baby;[16] also referred to as autonepiophilia[10]
Partialism	Specific, non-genital body parts[16][3]
Paedophilia	Prepubescent children, also spelled pedophilia [16][32]	302.2
Peodeiktophilia	Exposing one's penis[4]
Pedovestism	Dressing like a child[33]
Pictophilia	Pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures[10][3]
Pyrophilia	Fire[34]
Raptophilia	Committing rape[10]
Sadism	Inflicting pain on others[16]	302.84
Salirophilia	Soiling or dirtying others[3]
Sexual fetishism	Nonliving objects[16]	302.81
Somnophilia	Sleeping or unconscious people[10][3]
Sthenolagnia	Muscles and displays of strength[27]
Stigmatophilia	Body piercings and tattoos[4][27]
Symphorophilia	Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents[4]
Telephone scatologia	Obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia[10][16]
Teratophilia	Deformed or monstrous people[35]
Transvestic fetishism	Wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex; also known as transvestism[16]	302.3
Transvestophilia	A transvestite sexual partner[10]
Trichophilia	Hair[27]
Troilism	Cuckoldism, watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge; also known as triolism[11][36]
Urolagnia	Urination, particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on[3][10][11][16]
Ursusagalmatophilia	Teddy bears[6]
Vampirism	Drawing or drinking blood[37][38]
Vorarephilia	Eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece [39]
Voyeurism	Watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia.[16][11]	302.82
Zoophilia	Animals (actual, not anthropomorphic)[3][10][16]
Zoosadism	Inflicting pain on or seeing animals in pain[40]

Taken from Doctor Wiki [here]
Unforunately they will not register my Paraphilia, Changophilia

Skream

Choking as I write this, I better not get sick before Atlanta, it's probably all the snus. Damn you nicotine, nasty habit I've developed but its 100% Swedish..anyways. Enjoy this

Urinal

As I entered into the bathroom I saw an elderly man peeing with only one hand on his cock and the other holding a shopping bag. I wanted to tell him "Great technique" or "I like your style" but conversations in the bathroom have homosexual vibes and I'm sure the old fashion bastard would have been scared shitless.