I just want to listen to music through the headphones of the globe, I'll mix their screams with the cries of laughter. I'll cross over from obese greed and drown it in tragedy. I'll take one shot to a building and ignore the millions of bombs we drop to compensate for our more expensive lives. I'll bask in the glory of being able to eat the African families weight, malnourished and all. I'll parade around in clothes I don't need, expelling exhaust. "everything i could say would feed into insignificance"

Welcome to my Journal. IGNORE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, or become my Editor


Live each moment

So I realized today that if I woke up tomorrow with the house I want, the car I want, the income I want and all those other things than I may be ecstatic for a moment, this moment could last days, weeks, months maybe even years...but eventually it would pass. The real thing that makes all of those dreams and ambitions amazing is having them, striving for them, dreaming about them, lusting for them tasting them and working towards achieving them. Nothing compares to all of that. Its a cheezy thing, but in the Notorious movie Big E talks about Tupac telling him to enjoy the 'coming up' part, cuz thats the best part. And every fortune cookie has dropped a line or two about, "Happiness is the journey not that desination" and it all just makes sense. I guess the moral of the story is this, never stop striving and dreaming, because the second you have everything in your life that you could ever possibly desire, there is nothing left to strive for or aim towards. I know you self cenetered pricks would love to say that "i am inspired by me" or would love to be the one to 'set the bar,' but the truth is....its fucking depressing setting the bar. Its lonely being on top.


On Apple Products

When it comes to apple products, i feel as though someone keeps trying to sell me a Hamburger. Except the first time they sold me just the hamburger patty, the second time they told me if i buy the hamburger patty i get lettuce. The third time they said if i buy the patty, i get lettuce and a bun. The forth time they said if I buy the Hamburger patty i get lettuce, bun and onions. The fifth time they told me that if i buy the Hamburger i get the patty, Buns, lettuce, and grilled onions. It wasn't until the 6th time that they added a new application, Sauce, to the Hamburger already composed of buns, lettuce and grilled onions. The seventh time they told me that I could buy a hamburger with two patties, a bun, lettuce, grilled onions and sauce. This continued until one day i was able to buy my Double Double Animal style (A burger with all the works, grilled)


"paraphilia |ˌparəˈfilēə|
noun Psychiatry
a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities"

Derived from Greek para: Besides and Philia: love.
"refers to powerful and persistent sexual interest other than in copulatory or precopulatory behavior with phenotypically normal, consenting adult human partners" (wikipedia.org).


Here is a list of Paraphilia's provided by Wikipedia:
Formal name Attraction to ___ Refs / see also DSM code[3]
Abasiophilia physically disabled people, leg braces, etc
Acrotomophilia amputees [4][5]
Agalmatophilia statues, mannequins, immobility [6]
Algolagnia physical pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone [7]
Andromimetophilia female-to-male transsexuals [4][8]
Apotemnophilia being an amputee [4][9]
Asphyxiophilia strangulation of oneself, loss of control of one's own breathing. Also, constriction. [4]
Autagonistophilia being on stage or on camera [10][11]
Autassassinophilia staging one's own murder [4]
Autoerotic asphyxiation self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness [11]
Autoandrophilia being male [12][13]
Autogynephilia being female [14]
Autonepiophilia being an infant [10]
Autopedophilia being prepubescent [15]
Biastophilia assault and rape [4]
Chremastistophilia being robbed or held up [10]
Chronophilia partners of a widely differing chronological age [10]
Coprophilia feces [16][17]
Cratophilia strength [18]
Changophilia girls morphing during sexual intercourse [18]
Dendrophilia Trees [4]
Diaperism diapers [4]
Emetophilia vomit [8]
Erotic asphyxia asphyxia of oneself or others [19]
Erotophonophilia murder [4]
Exhibitionism exposing oneself sexually to others; variantly with or without their consent [17] 303.4
Fetishism nonliving objects [17] 302.81
Formicophilia insects, small animals, etc. [10][20]
Frotteurism rubbing against a non-consenting person [17] 302.89
Gerontophilia old people [21]
Gynandromorphophilia women with penises, men cross-dressed as women, or male-to-female transsexuals [22][23]
Gynemimetophilia male-to-female transsexuals [4][23]
Hebephilia pubescent children [24][25]
Homeovestism wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex [26][27]
Hybristophilia criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes [10][28]
Infantophilia children five years old or younger [29]
Paraphilic infantilism being a baby [17]
Kleptophilia, kleptolagnia stealing [23]
Klismaphilia enemas [17][23]
Knismolagnia tickling or being tickled
Lactaphilia human breast milk [18]
Liquidophilia attraction to liquids; strong desire to immerse genitals in liquid [18]
Macrophilia giants, primarily domination by giant women [18]
Mammaphilia, mammagynophilia, mastofact female breasts [18]
Masochism suffering, e.g. being humiliated, beaten, bound, etc. [17] 302.83
Menophilia menstruation [18]
Morphophilia some particular body shape and size [11]
Mucophilia human mucus [18]
Mysophilia dirtiness, e.g. soiled or decaying things [23]
Narratophilia obscenity [23]
Nasophilia noses [18]
Necrophilia corpses, dead people [17][30]
Nepiophilia infants [10]
Olfactophilia smells [8][10][23]
Partialism particular non-genital body part(s) [17][23]
Peodeiktophilia exposing one's penis [4]
Pedophilia, paedophilia prepubescent children [17][31] 302.2
Pedovestism dressing like a child [15]
Pictophilia pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures [10][23]
Podophilia feet [18]
Raptophilia committing rape [10]
Robot fetishism robots; people acting like robots or dressed in robot costumes; transformation into a robot [32]
Sadism causing pain [17] 302.84
Salirophilia soiling others [23]
Scatophilia feces [18]
Scoptophilia, scopophilia watching others being sexual [11]
Shoe fetishism shoes or other footwear [33]
Sinophilia Chinese
Somnophilia sleeping or unconscious people [10][23]
Sthenolagnia strength or muscles [18]
Stigmatophilia piercings and tattoos [4][18]
Symphorophilia disasters [4]
Telephone scatologia, Telephonicophilia obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers [10][17]
Transvestic fetishism, transvestism clothing associated with the opposite sex [17][34] 302.3
Transvestophilia cross-dressed partner [10]
Trichophilia hair [18]
Troilism, triolism watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge [11][35]
Urophagia drinking urine [8]
Urophilia urine, particularly urinating in public, urinating on others, and being urinated on by others [8][10][11][17]
Vampirism, also known as Murphyism drawing or drinking blood [36][37]
Vorarephilia eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece Macrophilia, [38]
Voyeurism watching others be sexual or naked, particularly without their knowledge [17] 302.82
Zoophilia animals (actual, not anthropomorphic) [8][10][17][23]
Zoosadism animals' pain

autoerotic asphyxiation

"Erotic asphyxiation refers to intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is also called asphyxiophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, scarfing, kotzwarraism, or breath control play. Colloquially, a person engaging in the activity is sometimes called a gasper."-wiki



My ipod shuffle was having technical difficulties its all better now.
Now Playing: The Cars vs DJ Antoine-Just Needed Time.
"It doesn't matter where you been." We all handle life's anomalies different, we all move to our separate rhythms in each of the beats. This is why I love electronic music, there is so many different vibrations that each person is accepted for doing their own dance, if only life was electronic. Well in this digital age, it kinda is.

One has to appreciate the people that come into our lives. Sometimes it is difficult to understand their place within our lives, but luckily being human we are bound to make mistakes and thanks to our brains we are capable of learning from those mistakes. However, we do find ourselves in time warps, (definition of insanity "trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results"). God is in science, but being a scientist of emotions is a dangerous game. All artists understand what this means, whether the artist works with images, words or music.

Being an artist of words is similar to being an actor. It becomes second nature to shuffle through the spectrum of emotions, playing with words. "I like staying up late, eating chocolate cake and snowflakes." I guess the difficult part is being able to recognize when the feelings are real and aren't just self created manifestations but rather vibrations. Than after that comes the hard part, linking up those vibrations and meeting on the same wave lengths. Alcohol and drugs make pseudo wave lengths that we tend to meet up on, 'social lubricant.' This is easy. But finding people with whom we can have legitimate connections without outside variables...when you do, Hold on tight.